Oh my gosh. Once again, I sound like a broken record but it has been OVER a month since my last post. I may be doomed in the world of blogging until I get a new laptop.
Miss K is going to be 3 months old this coming Saturday. This is UNREAL to me that she is already 1/4 of a year old! ;)
I have been enjoying EVERY minute with my little girl. Time really does go far too quickly and I'm soaking up every minute - even the challenging ones (more on that in another post - if I get the time!).
She is a very happy little girl, she smiles so much! Especially when she sees her Mama or Daddy. She could be crying her eyes out protesting a nap, but when we peek over her crib rails and she sees us she bursts into the biggest smile that it's pretty hard to be upset that she isn't napping!
She is grasping at her rattle and shaking it (although not intentionally I'm sure) - when she shakes it I squeal in delight to which she responds with a big smile and a "laugh". I can see in her face she wants to know how to make me squeal again.
She is very strong and holds her head very well - it's still a little wobbly but she almost has it under full control. She hates tummy time as most babies do but is steadily improving the length of time she'll endure it - it must be exhausting stretching those muscles to hold up her head!
She LOVES her bath before bed - it's her special time with Daddy.
She LOVES going for walks and I can see her taking in all the new things to see and smell outside. How amazing it must be for her to see the blue sky and the birds and the trees! With Spring here there will be so many more things for her to experience and this makes me so happy that I get to experience them with her.
Last week I found myself thinking "She's mine. She's here to stay. I don't have to give her back." This is amazing to me that I have a lifetime with her (and may she and I both have a long life). I told my Mom that I now know how she must feel about my sister and I. I truly can't imagine loving anyone or anything the way I love her. I may have already said this in an earlier post but while I love my husband deeply, the love I feel for K is SO much more intense, immediate and profound.
And with that I hear her waking from her nap ... that's my next post .. the challenges of sleep training!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
What we've been up to!
Here is what we've up to for the last 5 weeks! Apologize for the point form update!
- Since she was born at home, we were left alone with her at home just hours after her birth - SCARY!
- First night was both an adrenaline high and incredibly frightening. We were warned that due to her quick trip thru the birth canal she would be mucousy but we had NO IDEA how much - she would choke on it and we FREAKED out. She also would vomit large volumes of it. Needless to say a middle of the night page to our Midwife was made for reassurance - also? She slept with us because we were totally scared to death of her choking.
- Kathryn sleeps in the bassinet of her pack n' play in our room
- Daddy stayed home with us for the first two weeks, he took care of me and I took care of baby :)
- Kathryn was NOT interested in feeding from the breast for the first few days but I was really worried (not as much for her but about protecting my milk supply) so at 48hrs we started hand expressing colostrum into a little cup - Daddy was much better at expressing it than I was so he did the work! We then cup fed her every 3hrs. The cup feeding was ADORABLE and I'm sad I didn't take any pictures - she would lap it up like a little kitten from the cup :)
- We took her out of the house for the first time at 72hrs old to see a chiropractor to see if an adjustment would help her with breastfeeding/latching on.
- My milk came in at 72hrs and magically (and just after an emergency pump rental) she started to latch on and feed!
- We had problems with pain/sore/cracked nipple on the right side and it was torture to feed from that side for a good two weeks!
- She still doesn't have a "perfect" latch but it's not painful to me and she is being fed so we've left it
- I had gained 20lbs during the pregnancy and lost all of it by 7 days post partum, I lost an additional 5lbs by 10 days post partum and am now 10lbs lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight - I'm happy because I was about 30lbs overweight when I got pregnant (yay for breastfeeding!) - still another 20lbs to my ideal weight but I've got a jump start on it now
-Kathryn is gaining well - in fact we don't think she lost any of the weight babies traditionally lose after birth. By 5 days old she had gained 10oz over her birth weight and by 3weeks old she had gained 2lbs total
- She is an even tempered baby - she generally only cries when she's hungry or needs changing. Occasionally she cries (screams) because she's overtired or overstimulated but we've learned to watch for sleepy cues and to never keep her awake for more than 2hrs at a time
- She generally feeds every 3-4hrs now though she has gone as long as 7hrs between feeds (once! It half scared me when I woke and realized what time it was and half thrilled me!)
- She loves bath time with Daddy
- She has started social smiling (smiling when we talk to her, etc.)
- She has more clothes than I do now - everyone brings her clothes when they come to visit. She even has 5 pairs of shoes and a pair of rain boots!
That's it in a nutshell!
I'm starting to try baby wearing and this should make coming down to the basement and hitting the computer a bit easier! Hopefully I'll have some more posts soon! Real posts - not like this one ;)
- Since she was born at home, we were left alone with her at home just hours after her birth - SCARY!
- First night was both an adrenaline high and incredibly frightening. We were warned that due to her quick trip thru the birth canal she would be mucousy but we had NO IDEA how much - she would choke on it and we FREAKED out. She also would vomit large volumes of it. Needless to say a middle of the night page to our Midwife was made for reassurance - also? She slept with us because we were totally scared to death of her choking.
- Kathryn sleeps in the bassinet of her pack n' play in our room
- Daddy stayed home with us for the first two weeks, he took care of me and I took care of baby :)
- Kathryn was NOT interested in feeding from the breast for the first few days but I was really worried (not as much for her but about protecting my milk supply) so at 48hrs we started hand expressing colostrum into a little cup - Daddy was much better at expressing it than I was so he did the work! We then cup fed her every 3hrs. The cup feeding was ADORABLE and I'm sad I didn't take any pictures - she would lap it up like a little kitten from the cup :)
- We took her out of the house for the first time at 72hrs old to see a chiropractor to see if an adjustment would help her with breastfeeding/latching on.
- My milk came in at 72hrs and magically (and just after an emergency pump rental) she started to latch on and feed!
- We had problems with pain/sore/cracked nipple on the right side and it was torture to feed from that side for a good two weeks!
- She still doesn't have a "perfect" latch but it's not painful to me and she is being fed so we've left it
- I had gained 20lbs during the pregnancy and lost all of it by 7 days post partum, I lost an additional 5lbs by 10 days post partum and am now 10lbs lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight - I'm happy because I was about 30lbs overweight when I got pregnant (yay for breastfeeding!) - still another 20lbs to my ideal weight but I've got a jump start on it now
-Kathryn is gaining well - in fact we don't think she lost any of the weight babies traditionally lose after birth. By 5 days old she had gained 10oz over her birth weight and by 3weeks old she had gained 2lbs total
- She is an even tempered baby - she generally only cries when she's hungry or needs changing. Occasionally she cries (screams) because she's overtired or overstimulated but we've learned to watch for sleepy cues and to never keep her awake for more than 2hrs at a time
- She generally feeds every 3-4hrs now though she has gone as long as 7hrs between feeds (once! It half scared me when I woke and realized what time it was and half thrilled me!)
- She loves bath time with Daddy
- She has started social smiling (smiling when we talk to her, etc.)
- She has more clothes than I do now - everyone brings her clothes when they come to visit. She even has 5 pairs of shoes and a pair of rain boots!
That's it in a nutshell!
I'm starting to try baby wearing and this should make coming down to the basement and hitting the computer a bit easier! Hopefully I'll have some more posts soon! Real posts - not like this one ;)
Birth Story revisited
Becoming a Mommy has made me a terrible blogger. We have a home computer but it is a desktop and in our basement which means during these long winter days I have to turn on a space heater, pack up the baby and trek to the basement to get some computer time. Needless to say a laptop is in our very near future if you ask me.
Anyhoo - it has been over 5 weeks since my baby girl was born and well after re-reading the birth story post I did when she was 10 days old I realized that I CLEARLY had not processed or dealt with her fast labour at all. When I re-read that post all I see is a technical account of what happened that day and I see no sentiment or emotion in what I wrote. This is NOT the way I usually write! I had to sit back and realize that the day I wrote her birth story was probably my most emotional post partum day. It was my Birthday and I pretty much spent the day crying. I don't think I could have transferred the emotion I was feeling that day into words even if I had tried.
If I think back now to the day of her birth, I'm filled with a mixed bag of emotions. The day started in my head at 6am when I truly woke up and realized all the cramping I had thru the night were actually contractions. I don't think I wanted to admit or believe it was really happening for fear that it was just my imagination! At 6am when it started to hurt more and I realized that it was happening all too frequently, there was no denying what was going on. After calling my Doula and getting a back up set-up, I decided to eat some breakfast to give me energy for what I was sure was going to be a long day and night. I quickly ate a yogurt and tried eating some toast with peanut butter but the contractions were happening so fast and taking so much out of me that I could barely chew a bite between them. In my head I thought man these are happening so quickly and hurt SO bad - how on earth will I do this naturally if it's like this for the next 12hrs or more!
When our back-up Doula arrived I was incredibly thankful. While my husband was doing the best he could, I think he was caught off guard by the frequency of the contractions too. He kept trying to time them but could never tell when one officially started and I was not in the frame of mind to say "Hey Honey - press start on the contraction app!". He was rushing around trying to get our bags ready by the door, etc. Our Doula immediately jumped into action with using pressure points on my hands and telling me to drop my shoulders during contractions because I naturally tensed up with each one. I was at this point feeling incredibly miserable having just thrown up what little I had had to eat and jumped in the shower to clean the smell away. When the Midwife arrived and told me that I was at 3cm and the hospital would not admit me just yet I'll admit to feeling upset. I had been reminded that the effacement was more important than the number of centimeters dilated and so the fact I was 100 % effaced was great but I wanted to go to the hospital. I was given the option of going to get some nubaine but declined. I didn't want to go all the way there only to have to come all the way back home and then go back again later. The thought of all those car trips while having the horrible back labour was enough for me to decide to just ride out the pain at home.
When a short while later I was given the news that I should prepare for a home birth I cried. I was so scared and I was so worried about how my husband would deal with this news. I was terrified. Every horrible scenario played out in my head. Thankfully I did not know that baby girl being posterior was a risk factor otherwise I might have opted for the ambulance. In this moment where I accepted that a home birth was the best option, I decided that I would do whatever it takes to deliver the baby. This meant that when the second midwife tried to turn her internally I let her. This meant that when the primary midwife was holding my bones open to give the baby more room when I pushed, I let her. I screamed bloody murder, but I let her and did not ask her to stop. In my mind, if that is what needed to be done, then do it. It was horrible. I thank G-d that I was an effective pusher and it only took 25 minutes. I don't think I could have lasted longer than I did.
When I felt the baby come out and she was placed on my chest I cried uncontrollably. After everything we had gone thru to create this miracle, she was finally here. I wept tears of joy and quite frankly they may also have been tears of fear. I couldn't put together what had happened in the last few hours but here I was holding a beautiful baby girl. The first thing I noticed were her beautiful full red lips.
I stared at her for what felt like forever and ignored everyone else in the room.
She is all that mattered and she is perfect.
Anyhoo - it has been over 5 weeks since my baby girl was born and well after re-reading the birth story post I did when she was 10 days old I realized that I CLEARLY had not processed or dealt with her fast labour at all. When I re-read that post all I see is a technical account of what happened that day and I see no sentiment or emotion in what I wrote. This is NOT the way I usually write! I had to sit back and realize that the day I wrote her birth story was probably my most emotional post partum day. It was my Birthday and I pretty much spent the day crying. I don't think I could have transferred the emotion I was feeling that day into words even if I had tried.
If I think back now to the day of her birth, I'm filled with a mixed bag of emotions. The day started in my head at 6am when I truly woke up and realized all the cramping I had thru the night were actually contractions. I don't think I wanted to admit or believe it was really happening for fear that it was just my imagination! At 6am when it started to hurt more and I realized that it was happening all too frequently, there was no denying what was going on. After calling my Doula and getting a back up set-up, I decided to eat some breakfast to give me energy for what I was sure was going to be a long day and night. I quickly ate a yogurt and tried eating some toast with peanut butter but the contractions were happening so fast and taking so much out of me that I could barely chew a bite between them. In my head I thought man these are happening so quickly and hurt SO bad - how on earth will I do this naturally if it's like this for the next 12hrs or more!
When our back-up Doula arrived I was incredibly thankful. While my husband was doing the best he could, I think he was caught off guard by the frequency of the contractions too. He kept trying to time them but could never tell when one officially started and I was not in the frame of mind to say "Hey Honey - press start on the contraction app!". He was rushing around trying to get our bags ready by the door, etc. Our Doula immediately jumped into action with using pressure points on my hands and telling me to drop my shoulders during contractions because I naturally tensed up with each one. I was at this point feeling incredibly miserable having just thrown up what little I had had to eat and jumped in the shower to clean the smell away. When the Midwife arrived and told me that I was at 3cm and the hospital would not admit me just yet I'll admit to feeling upset. I had been reminded that the effacement was more important than the number of centimeters dilated and so the fact I was 100 % effaced was great but I wanted to go to the hospital. I was given the option of going to get some nubaine but declined. I didn't want to go all the way there only to have to come all the way back home and then go back again later. The thought of all those car trips while having the horrible back labour was enough for me to decide to just ride out the pain at home.
When a short while later I was given the news that I should prepare for a home birth I cried. I was so scared and I was so worried about how my husband would deal with this news. I was terrified. Every horrible scenario played out in my head. Thankfully I did not know that baby girl being posterior was a risk factor otherwise I might have opted for the ambulance. In this moment where I accepted that a home birth was the best option, I decided that I would do whatever it takes to deliver the baby. This meant that when the second midwife tried to turn her internally I let her. This meant that when the primary midwife was holding my bones open to give the baby more room when I pushed, I let her. I screamed bloody murder, but I let her and did not ask her to stop. In my mind, if that is what needed to be done, then do it. It was horrible. I thank G-d that I was an effective pusher and it only took 25 minutes. I don't think I could have lasted longer than I did.
When I felt the baby come out and she was placed on my chest I cried uncontrollably. After everything we had gone thru to create this miracle, she was finally here. I wept tears of joy and quite frankly they may also have been tears of fear. I couldn't put together what had happened in the last few hours but here I was holding a beautiful baby girl. The first thing I noticed were her beautiful full red lips.
I stared at her for what felt like forever and ignored everyone else in the room.
She is all that mattered and she is perfect.
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| Newborn photo shoot - 2 weeks old |
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